Creepypasta Wiki talk:Deleted Page/Jeff the Killer/@comment-24176887-20131116212759
I personally love the concept of Jeff The Killer but there are so many things wrong with both him and his story. First of all, this story just sucks. It is poorly written and seems to rushed. I believe that they should have used a different person, third person just doesn't seem as though it fits for this. Imagine the in depth detail of his mind warping and becoming that of a monster that you could write if you used first person, Jeff's perspective. That would be amazing if you could pull it off. Second of all, the whole bullies and birthday party thing really bugs me. Also the whole thing of Liu going to Juvy. It's just completely lame. I absolutely love the whole, bleaching, burining and self mutilation thing but if they gave it a different situation it would much better fit. A much darker, less day-to-day situation. For example, if Liu grew up with a resentment towards Jeff and if ''he ''was the one to bleach and burn Jeff. That then makes two pyschopaths in one family. Although it would be Liu making his brother into that pyschopath. This could also lead onto another story, perhaps in Liu's perspective, explaining his hatred for Jeff and why he did what he did. It would make Jeff's accident more personal than if a group of random bullies did so. It would give Jeff reason to kill his brother and perhaps his parents too, other than the whole thing that he just 'snapped'. Third of all, his name. Jeff The Killer. Jeff The fucking Killer. One of the most unoriginal and pathetic things I have ever heard in my entire life. What? He couldn't think of a better name? I can think of a lot of cooler sounding shit than that. I don't know if it's just me but all of the popular creepypastas have some pretty lame names. Jeff The Killer, a dude named Jeff who kills people. Jane The Killer (I'll be ranting at her story soon, too), a bitch named Jane that kills people, possibly affiliated with Jeff The Killer. Eyeless Jack, an eyeless asshole whose name is Jack. Sally, a fucking girl called Sally. Wow. Slender man, oh, I don't know, a slender man? Masky, a guy wearing a mask? No? Yes? Yeah, thought so. Hoodie, don't tell me. He wears a V-neck? No? He wears a hoodie? Oh gosh, I would have never guessed. Now, I have two here that I've saved until now because I actually like them. Yeah, there are some names I actually approve of. BEN Drowned and Ticci Toby. I like BEN Drowned because I just adore how 'BEN' is in all caps. That's seriously all it is. And Ticci Toby. I like the alliteration and how it links with his character. ... I've gone off topic here. Yeah, ok. His name sucks. Point four, he's what? Thirteen? What the actual fuck? A thirteen year old just massacred his family because some assholes set him on fire. I could go on but this is making me too worked up... Hope you enjoyed this rant! (P.S. I still love the idea of a serial killer that cut a smile into his face and kills people. I wish he had a better phrase though. 'Go to sleep' is just too... Lame.) (P.P.S. The word lame is actually pretty lame itself and way overused in the above rant. I apologise for that.) ~TheCallerInTheNight~